So who are you? Who are you, exactly?
These are age-old issues that philosophers, psychologists, and people in general have tried to address since the dawn of time. Today, the majority of people encounter some variation of this query when they first meet someone. For instance, when someone first meets you, their question to you is likely to be, “What do you do?”
As a result, for many people, their identity and sense of self are typically tied to their employment, professional development, or level of education. The next question that is frequently posed to us is whether we are married or involved in a romantic relationship.
Because of this, for the vast majority of people, their identity or sense of who they are is almost always strongly correlated with their employment and romantic status.
This is fantastic when we enjoy our jobs, are successful at them, and are engaged in fulfilling romantic relationships. It puts a lot of pressure on ourselves to either find a career we are successful at and love and also enter a romantic relationship or to maintain our current job or romantic relationship, however, when we identify only with our career or relationship status.
Furthermore, when we rely on our careers and romantic relationships for our identity and sense of self, we are typically also relying on these things for our happiness, self-worth, and mental peace. We are ceding total control over our happiness to our employers, customers, or romantic partners. A very shaky sense of self and a fragile state of happiness may result from this.
Our identity, who we are, and self-esteem are threatened if our boss, clients, or romantic partner become unhappy with us. Finding fulfillment in one’s work, earning enough money to support oneself and one’s family, or developing a close, passionate relationship with one’s partner are all perfectly acceptable.
